Dr Lurve

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How Do I Know I'm With "The One"

Have you ever felt like you found ‘the one’, only for the relationship to end and you find yourself saying “how could I have been so blind?”. You’re not alone darling — sometimes when we take off the rose-coloured glasses things aren’t at all what they seem.

 

Whether you’ve been in a relationship that takes a lot of effort or you think you’ve found ‘the one’ even if it’s your first serious relationship, we’ve compiled a list of signs that can indicate if you’re with your soulmate, and not just wearing those glasses again.

 

Goosebumps every time

This might sound a bit cliche, but if you didn’t feel some kind of uncontrollable feeling in your body when you met — whether it was an increased heartbeat, butterflies in your stomach or goosebumps — then you probably haven’t found ‘the one’ just yet.

 

Some might say it’s a myth, but talk to anyone who’s deeply in love and they’ll tell you they felt that attraction straight away. While fireworks alone won’t keep a relationship alive, a strong mutual attraction is a good place to start. In addition, if they made you laugh during your first few encounters, the connection you share will only grow stronger as women biologically find someone more attractive when they make them laugh.

 

Family matters

Have you ever been in a relationship and your family and friends didn’t approve of who you were seeing? Despite their disapproval, you stubbornly kept dating them until it went bust, and then finally saw things from their perspective. It’s true that family and friends want what’s best for you and they express their concern because they don’t have the rose-coloured glasses on — they can see past the charm and are trying to warn you about this person.

 

When you’re with someone that’s right for you, you’ll notice family and friends do a 180 and embracing your new partner with open arms. Having your support system on your side can make life so much easier because you’re not stressed about bringing your partner to family events or a friend’s birthday dinner.

 

Honest is your new policy

When you’re with ‘the one’, you’ll feel so comfortable with them that you want to be honest from the get-go. They make you feel safe enough for you to share your hidden skeletons because you want them to know exactly who you are. Being completely open in a relationship is a major factor in knowing you’re both on the same page. However, if your partner is hiding things from you or you feel like you can’t be open with them, it might be time to move on — trust and honesty are the foundation blocks of any good relationship.

 

Caught in a good romance

Couples that have been together for a while will tell you it’s not all fun and games; relationships take some effort and work, but you still need to address your relationships underlying romance. In the honeymoon phase you’re totally infatuated with each other, and once it wears off some couples find it difficult to keep the romance alive.

 

If you’re struggling to get back to how things were, it’s a sign that the road ahead could be more work than play. You need to be living your relationship more than you discuss it; the key to knowing you’re in a romance is how easily you can both become immersed in the moment, as if nothing else in the world matters.

 

Tell the world I’m coming home

Ask yourself how you feel when you come home after a bad day at work: are you relieved when you see your partner and feel instantaneously better, or worried that your bad day will turn worse once you walk into the house?

 

Being with someone that feels like home and makes your worries melt away with a hug is the epitome of comfort, and having them want to be that person for you is even better. You feel like you’ve won the lottery because when you see them and ask yourself “how did I get so lucky?” and can sometimes jokingly ponder “how do I put up with you?”.

 

If you feel like your relationship doesn’t quite match up, simply ask a friend what they really think about your relationship. You must make it clear to them you need an honest opinion that won’t be met with a sour reaction. Taking off the rose-coloured glasses isn’t so easy but once you understand your relationship from an outsider's perspective it will give you a clear answer whether you’re with ‘the one’ or not.