3 simple ways to navigate intimacy during the school holidays
When it comes to school holidays no matter what time of the year, it can be hard for parents to navigate their love life (especially sex) when the whole family is around the house 24/7. Sometimes it can be a sensory overload particularly if one parent has to work from home during the school break or share days at home with their spouse. Kids are constantly bored, running around or trying to distract you from work – and the house just seems to be a bomb site all the time!
You want your kids to have fun during the holidays and put their needs first, which makes being a couple that much harder. With so much going on in and outside the home, the last thing on your list is being intimate with your partner, am I right?
Some couples find it most difficult during the break to become intimate just from the amount of people in the house; there’s almost no alone time or privacy when you have kids. While you want to take the opportunity to connect during the school holidays, most couples forget to make time to be partners instead of parents, even if it’s for one night.
Navigating your intimacy during the busy holidays isn’t as hard as you think, you just have to know how to approach it. We’ve got a few tips and tricks that will help you get cosy with your partner during the school holidays, and the kids won’t know a thing.
Schedule a date
I know you’re thinking this sounds pretty simple, right? Well when you’re a parent, trying to find a night off is a task in itself – not only do you need a night that you are both free but also a night the kids don’t have something on, along with the availability of grandparents or a babysitter. Trust us when we say putting the effort and time aside to plan your date night is definitely worth it. The first step to becoming more connected with your partner is to check in with each other and reflect on what the past year meant for you as individuals and as a couple.
It’s a great time to discuss what you want to work and what you appreciate about each other – and after a few glasses of red wine at your favourite restaurant, you can kiss and make up (and then some). If you can help it, try not to talk about your kids during the date – this is the time to talk about yourselves and unlock those deep thoughts you’ve held onto during the year.
Mind you, the date itself doesn’t have to be extravagant if you don’t want it to be; it can be as simple as dinner and a movie, going to the beach for a sunset walk with gelato in hand, or even a picnic at the park. Get back to your couple roots and rekindle your affection for each other.
Play while they’re away
So it might not be practical to call the babysitter every time you want some alone time with your partner, plus you want to be able to get cosy under the covers in your own bed – can’t quite do that if the kids are home and awake!
You’re the parents, which means you’re also the boss of what goes on with your kids during the school holidays – use it well. Be strategic with your planning and set up a few play dates with their friends that’s out of the house; this gives you some real time alone with your partner and you can be more experimental (and vocal) when the house is empty.
A hot tip before the kids are out of your hair: try teasing each other in the lead up to your alone time. Give them a soft kiss on the ear or neck when no one is looking, grab their butt in a cheeky way or simply scratch one nail along their spine from the neck down for the ultimate goosebumps. Once you’ve built up the teasing and the house is empty, you’ll be ripping each other’s clothes off in the hottest way!
Ever heard of mid-year resolutions?
Who said New Year’s Resolutions were the only way to set goals? You’ve got 6 months left of the year so it’s a great way to come up with a new resolution that involves you and your partner’s intimacy; it can be about having sex more often, taking time out with each other, or vowing to schedule date night once a month. Whatever you decide to resolve, make sure it’s something you can stick to.
Tell them your resolution and see what they think about it; you can make a resolution together which is easier to keep thanks to accountability. When you’re both working towards a goal to become more intimate and connected, you both have something to lose if you fail, and everything to gain if you stick to the resolution.
By whatever means necessary, giving your relationship a breath of fresh air during the school holidays is beneficial for the whole family unit. You’re a couple and parents, and while it’s easy to let the parenting get in the driver’s seat of your love life, appreciating your partner and reminding each other about the importance of intimacy will make these school holidays something you won’t forget.
Written by Dr. Lurve, originally posted on Sporteluxe.