Module 5
Lesson 2 – How to spark that magic attraction:
For years, communication experts have educated us in gaining rapport and making maximum impact when we meet people. There are 4 forms of communication that will help you make that lasting impression:
- Positive Language: Remember we spoke about creating positive feelings? We can also do this when we use positive words. This will have him automatically associate good feelings with you and when he feels good around you, he will want more of you – I mean who doesn’t want to feel good? Language is a free resource and if used effectively it can be the most powerful asset we have… seductive even. Make a conscious effort to use feeling words, “it feels so good to be able to have a great conversation with a beautiful human, thank you” or “it feels so easy to be around you” or “I feel so looked after when you’re around.” Although you might think that feelings are not for men, it’s far from the truth. Men find feelings mysterious and they enjoy the positive side of them, making you feel good. Remember, men want to make you happy and love hearing that they are.
- Positive Outlook: There is no doubt that optimism wins the race when it comes to life’s fashion parade and it’s definitely my style of choice. It is easy to wear, not too heavy and makes other people feel good! Try reframing things in your conversation to lean towards the positive, brighter side. By sitting in a positive mindset it navigates you away from the sitting in the dialogue of your negative emotions, challenges and complaints. If you can manage to do this, you might just awaken his attraction for you because he feels great around you and inspires him to be more positive too.
- Matching/mirroring: this means watch him, pay attention, and get into energetic sync. Sometimes you’ll find you can do this naturally, however it’s a great idea to keep it in your conscious mind to match and mirror his actions. This might sound strange, but this has been a game changer for a lot of my clients. If you do this effectively, he can become deeply attracted to you, so do this only if that’s what you’re after. How do you achieve this? You do it discreetly; match his body language, his breathing pace, depth and his gestures. Do it ever so slightly so that it is not obvious. If he is tapping his foot, you quietly tap yours to match his speed. He doesn’t need to know you’re creating rapport by matching and mirroring, if he became conscious of what you are doing you might receive a totally different result.
- Pleasure principal: we want you to ignite his feelings, so make sure you do something positive and fun with him. You could dance to his favourite song or you could anchor good feelings to the moment, such as when you’re both laughing simply touch him on his arm. When you touch him and he is enjoying himself the next time you touch him in the same spot, this will trigger that pleasurable feeling and he will crave more. It works like a pleasure switch! This is the ‘anchor’ we discussed earlier.